I Don’t Hate Haircuts; I Hate Getting My Hair Cut
- The Productivity, Travis entry posted on November 17th, 2008.
I have a recurring event in iCal called “Get a haircut you stupid fuck!” Every month it reminds me to stop working, get in the car, head down to the salon and sit there for an hour so that I might look half-way presentable again.
The problem is, I rarely make it on time. I’m a chronic procrastinator as it is and haircuts are no different. I usually miss the schedule by at least a week. This isn’t really because I can’t stand the essence of haircuttery or because I don’t have respect for the fine art of trimming people’s mops. Nope. In fact, more power to them, damnit.
No, my problem is with time allocation. I feel like I can’t possibly afford to sit in one place with no access to anything for such a huge block of time. For the amount of tasks being accomplished, I might as well be asleep. This seriously bothers me. It’s a waste of time according to my brain and you would think my it would have more respect for my hair, being in such close proximity.
It wouldn’t be such a brutal standoff if not for the fact that my stylist loves to chat. While I can understand the need to not have a creeping awkward silence stretching the entire session, it does contribute to the lack of productivity. Primarily because she seems to stop actually cutting my hair when she reaches a climactic point in the story she’s telling — which is about every 10 minutes.
To me, this is unacceptable. Either because of my mild OCD or because it makes sense. In either case, it contributes to the usual state of my hair — out of control.
After hours of research and thinking on the subject — mostly thinking to myself while she was talking — I have come to the conclusion that there are only two possible options.
One. Let’s install some flat screens and wireless keyboards instead of some shitty pointless mirrors in front of the chairs. What’s wrong with that? We’re busy people and we have things to look up, YouTube videos to watch, Tweets to Twitter. This seems like a homerun of a business plan if you ask me. Someone should get on this immediately.
Two. Create a race of self-aware autonomous haircut robots with a comb for one hand and a Flowbee® for the other.
13 Responses to “I Don’t Hate Haircuts; I Hate Getting My Hair Cut”rss
Philip Dhingra, on November 17th, 2008, said:
I’ve had the same problem. What ends up happening is I let my hair grow really long due to procrastination, and then when I’m having an off/boring/do-chores day, I swing around to getting the haircut.
I think it would be easier if I lived right near my stylist, or the salon was right next to places I frequent, so I wouldn’t have to think of the time sink and it’d become more of an “on-the-way” thing rather than a appointment.
But one thing, and this is may or may not apply to you, but I’ve developed a good friendship with my stylist and so the time is also used partially as therapy. I’ve gotten good advice, and I think I’ve given her some insight into how guys approach things. And I wonder if this isn’t a commonly known, but unspoken, “service” that’s included with getting salon cuts. Some (wealthier) women go to their stylist simply because they need advice, not a weekly trim.
Jeremy, on November 17th, 2008, said:
It sounds like it might be time to change stylists, or maybe even switch to a barber as men tend to not be as communicative as women.
Another option of course is the DIY haircut, pick yourself up a pair of clippers and give your melon a once over with a #2
I don’t really mind getting mine cut, I mind that it never looks the way I want it to for a week or two afterward, regardless of who cuts it or how it gets cut.
Jon Williams, on November 19th, 2008, said:
The images remind me of those paper cut out things in magazines(probably 90’s) that you could stick different hair styles onto. Cheers.
Jays CD Rates, on November 20th, 2008, said:
I am the opposite. I love getting my haircut, but I hate the process of going and waiting for it. I think the waiting around seems silly. And the price people pay for cuts is also silly.
varoon, on November 21st, 2008, said:
I think I have the ultimate solution for you and stop you from tossing and turning at night.
Red, on November 25th, 2008, said:
Supercuts is good for just going in, get your haircut and leave. Usually there isn’t a wait and I can usually get someone that will at least cut it even and short. So it lasts, but still grow out even.
And besides telling the woman to shut-up, I have to spend the 10 minutes saying, yup, nope, yup. uh-uh
survey software, on December 3rd, 2008, said:
i like getting my haircut but i dont like forking out the money to do it :S Theres a cool place that has a bunch of sports themed decorations where you can watch a sports game while getting your hair cut. its pretty cool.
-jack
Matt Helphrey, on December 16th, 2008, said:
Just tell her to shutup…please. Okay maybe not the best idea, but I believe they are taught to small talk like its going to get them more of a tip. Maybe just suggest that they get some tvs.
Dave, on December 19th, 2008, said:
This is exactly why I never go to public places to get my haircut, my barber lives across the street from me and all I need to do is give him a call and he’s chopping my mop while I get to smoke a cig n drink a beer.
drivelocity, on December 19th, 2008, said:
I go to an old times style barber shop and the guys there talk a bunch of $#!* to each other & all live in the neighborhood, and I’ve gone there for years, so I can’t really see going any place else. My wife has tried. But, the thing that annoys me is that they’re closed Sundays and Mondays, so if I miss going on a Saturday, I need to wait until Tuesday, and then end up waiting until the next Saturday & so on… which reminds me, I need a haircut!
bali villas, on December 19th, 2008, said:
i think you are thinking too much just for a hair cut..LOL
Argentina Warez, on December 27th, 2008, said:
Yes, i think the same LOL
Earn Money, on January 4th, 2009, said:
This is a hilarious post because i used to like getting my haircut but didn’t enjoy the cutter’s hand. Wasn’t really much gossip in a military hair shop.
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